feeling the ug monster

so i was checking my email when i got in to work today.

an old friend of mine from undergrad days had sent me a little note last night

"Hi Jessica,

Good to see you again yesterday. Let’s do lunch soon!!!! Mid April would be good, after my ad campaign breaks.

Anyway – here is the picture of us! You look good!"

i ran into the friend the other other day at a presser while covering an event.

the photgrapher took a shot of us while we were sipping teh tarik (indian tea with milk) and catching up.

i remember smiling widely as the flash flashed. the smile retracted as the photographer lowered his camera to check the shot blinking on the digital screen. He looked pleased. and that was that.

as i clicked on the link of our pic my friend emailed me... i was expecting to see, ya know, two pretty looking gals looking back.

as the photo emerged on my computer screen.

i kinda let out an Edvard Munch scream.

who is that gal?!!!

i looked like a piece of old rag.

so, is that how i look like now?

if this sounds a little vain, paranoid, psychotic and whiney....it's cos it prolly is. it's not you, it's me.

i'm feeling my body change. and my wrinkles are appearing along my laugh lines. the eye bags have become defiant despite restful sleep.

i'm just feeling the ug monster creeping up on me today.

tomorrow will be another day.

right?