the rest - Picasso


"we've moved"

have decided this minute, today to migrate to another blogsite.

and all me old entries are coming with me!
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Mini detox

I'm singing as i write. there's a song playing in my head. a bittersweet tune from the musical Annie. i love that show... i always cry at the moment when she kinda shrugs off the end of her stay with the billion dollar daddy. not wanting to hope. or be expectant that maybe Mr Warbucks could, would adopt her....
i'm just a sentimental ass.... i even cried watching animal planet the other day when they kept showing like gazillion dogs saving one life after another... will they just stop letting out the good dogs already? anyways...this verse from the musical Annie is my theme song for the hour. it's a little sad, a little sweet and a little thankful. and it sure beats the time when barry manilow kept singing in my head that Copacabana song...(her name was Lola... she was a showgirl...)
ok i'm talking rubbish. enough. time to grab my mug of milo and drown myself in my 450-thread-count sack. the day has been too long. i've been staring a numbers for 14 hours straight. so why am i writing on my blog? i dun understand... a detox of sorts. maybe?
or maybe.... :O
eeeeeewww. i've officially become a blogger. life has reached new lows. hahahahha.
May 11, 2005 in whatever Permalink Comments (0)


A Simple Life
At about 6 pm today, I recieve an sms from a dear friend from the island of Hvar* in Croatia.
Amy gives a roving report: "Hey Jess! How's everything? Very windy here, am selling now & tying ribbons for sachets..." About a year plus ago, this fiesty Singaporean plucked up her courage and herself to move to Hvar to be with her boyfriend Mako.** Her message - a jumble of words - paints in my mind her world - she's at her souvenir table at about 11 am selling her lavender sachets... Amy sells souvenirs made from lavender, which Mako's family plants and harvests.
Meanwhile i am scanning through stock indices. And watching the SGX announcement webpage like a hawk.
we exchanged a couple of smses and i was comforted by her zen-like pep messages. This girl who used to whine and whine...declaring that she must have been born on the day of endurance*** has become her own. she's centered and content. Life surely is not completely easy i can imagine, sewing lavender sachets, bottling lavender oils and warding off bargaining tourists trying to eat into her lavender profits. but she is living her life simply. and happily.
Amy ends off advising me to focus on the things in my life that offer pleasure and to forget about the "ugly" peeps. simple words to trip that mental switch. i guess sometimes we need simple words to cut through all the complicated bullshit that comes our way, yes? life's funny that way.
And so, I've decided.
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*Hvar is located off the Adriatic Ocean. :) I LOVE FOOTNOTES!!!!
**Amy and Mako met on a ferry ride to Hvar several years ago when she was backpacking in Europe. Really like a fairy tale, ya?
***An example of endurance was how we used to burn the midnight oil (hahah long time no use this cliche) writing our last-minute history assignments. We'd call each other in the wee hours to moan and lament. Between straddling writing the essays and fighting off the Z monster, we still had to overcome the heart palpitations brought upon by caffeine OD and the fear of missin' the morning deadline. HAH. yes, we were nutcases. geeky nutcases.
May 09, 2005 in whatever Permalink Comments (0)


A Visit To The 12 Apostles

A Visit To The 12 Apostles
I walked to the very edge
To peer at the 12 Apostles
And beyond
Something in the flapping wind
Made me bow and weep
I look out
As the ocean stretched
With no end
Something in the hurried waves
Had my hands crossed on my heart
I stand aback
So vast, so wild. So beautiful.
Without form
Life rolls out like a little fold
Not for me to hold
I walked back to the horde
And I wrote
To myself
What I didn’t know
I already knew
April 25, 2005 in whatever Permalink Comments (0)

the rest
there's a picasso painting ---- "The Rest" (Le Repos/1917). a play of colours weaved in broad brush strokes, the woman's face which emerges on the canvass (errr, or my print) is shown to be asleep - at rest. there's something soothing and calming about the painting that draws me to her. maybe it's the child-like weariness she carries...her rest is peaceful, pure and soulful. she's plain and beautiful.
whenever i look at my picasso print - I'm always reminded to rest my spirits, my body, mind and soul.
i'm feeling tired. it is 2 in the morning, after all. and i'm sleepless and excited about tomorrow. i'll be basking under the sun and hopefully getting a tan. please.
April 20, 2005 in whatever Permalink Comments (0)

feeling busy
there are days when i get up and i feel like i have a million words inside me that need to be spoken, streams of letters to write, songs to sing, pictures to take, poems to word and lovers to love. a life to live. kinda feeling busy today, ya?
April 12, 2005 Permalink Comments (0)

missing lost months
justin called from the US just the other day.
it's been almost what? two and half years since we last met and talked. we were then in Chicago. the timing of his call was wonderful and reminded me of our lost months...and how the both of us - 2 complete strangers - took a time-out just spending time together, talking about everything and anything but ourselves.
i knew very little about his personal life or what he did after we parted ways each day. but i do remember he was a little quirky... i knew that in the old apt he used to have in chicago, he had marked out a fave spot for his armchair where the best stereo sound could be enjoyed. the spot didn't make any interior design sense. it sat right smack between his bar stool and the back of his three-seater sofa. it was the PRIME seat. he loved watching stephen hawking documentaries and making strawberry yoghurt. i remember spotting milk that was a couple of months expired in his fridge. everythg else, mind you, was fresh.
he said he was an artist, but i've never seen any of his work or see him lift a paint brush. i was supposed to be looking for a job, having just completed my graduate program.
but i found most of my days spent with my stranger friend. we would catch a cheap afternoon movie...we went to the Chihuly exhibition in Garfield Park, picked out a dog from the pound and renamed her (from peah to leah), sat out in his greenhouse-like sun deck where he'd spin some chill out music on his dj console (a hobby of his) while i played with the smoke machine (he said he got it cheap from a shop, so why not), head out to chinatown for food and wander around the art institute for free.
our days were always very simple. nothing complicated. we didn't have a history nor did we know of each other's histories. no questions. no goodbyes.
our meeting didn't make sense most of the time. yet there was something purposeful about it at the same time. i believe it was exactly what we both needed at that time. as my friend josie would say: "the universe conspires!" ride with it.
April 09, 2005 in whatever Permalink Comments (0)

right words, right time
at yoga class today: between plunging my left leg up in the air with my back flat on the ground and looking up against the light, my instructor looked down at me. he yanked my feet higher, tightening the stretch on my left thigh as my right leg moved against its will toward my face. with a rim of light emanating from the sides of his head, he said: "let go of your fears." for a moment, i did. and i felt the same relief maggie (from northern exposure) felt when she set sail her love letters into an Alaskan stream.
April 04, 2005 in whatever Permalink Comments (0)